Collecting some of my favorites here:
How come in France you only need one egg to make an omelet?
-Because in France one egg is an œuf.
Why can’t Buddhists vacuum in the corner?
-Because they have no attachments.
What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
-Make me one with everything.
What happened to the magical tractor?
-It turned into a field…
How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
-Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
Where does the king keep his armies?
-In his sleevies!
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-It’s a pretty obscure number. You probably haven’t heard of it.
How many folk musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Two. One to do it and one to sing about how good the old one was.
-The lifeguard wanted to save the drowning hippie, but he was too far out, man.
-I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey…
But I’ve really turned myself around.
-How many letters of the alphabet can a pirate recite?
3. A,B,…and they always get lost at C…